Just in time for Mother's Day

The ceiling of my guest room is falling in. My in-laws are arriving in approximately four hours, and the plaster over their bed has 12-inch cracks radiating out from around the ceiling fan. Some are hairline cracks, but one is so deep that the latex ceiling paint is stretched over it as though the paint is trying with all its might to hold the plaster up, despite the the overwhelming odds in favor of gravity.

On further inspection, I found that the fan is indeed falling and trying to take the ceiling with it, thanks to the brilliant former owners who decided to mount the fan to the 90-year-old plaster instead of properly installing it with box attached to the joists to support the fan.

When Super-Hubby and I were using the room as the master bedroom, I said to him, "Super-Hubby, I think the fan is going to fall out of the ceiling." But he disagreed, telling me that there had always been a two-inch gap between the base of the fan and the ceiling. It would be fine. That was two years ago.

I think the poor plaster has had all it can take.

Of course, I didn't notice the huge cracks in the ceiling until after I had gotten the room all cleaned up - the bed changed, the furniture dusted, the windows open to let in the fresh breeze, a vase of fresh flowers from the garden on the dresser.

This strikes me as especially serious because my aunt and uncle once had the plaster ceiling of thier bedroom fall in. They were lucky not to be in bed at the time - a huge chunk of plaster landed on the bed and broke the frame. Had they been asleep, it probably would have killed them. I am rather afraid of that happening to my in-laws.
Because I really don't want my inlaws to die in my guest bedroom (heck, I don't want them to die at all!) I decided it would be wise to take down the fan before they arrived.

I shut off the power the the fan. I dragged the ladder to the room, and started to take apart the fan... only to realize that this is definitely not a one-person job. Unfortunately Super-Hubby is at work, and while the Tominator is good at destruction, he is no help in this situation. So I will have to wait for my Father-in-law to arrive, then beg his assistance to take the blasted thing down.

Arrgh.

I don't know if I'm more frustrated that I wasn't able to complete the project on my own, or that now the guest room is a mess with ladders and tools and pieces of ceiling fan scattered every which way.